Clicking on this image takes you back to the home page

Home Cognitive Therapy An Introduction to Feeling Good Panic Attack Relief Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Anxiety: why these 4 four words should be combined Dealing with Situational Issues Recovering from a Panic Attack How to Handle Social Anxiety Night Anxiety Worries about Physical Issues Dealing With The Physical Symptoms Of Anxiety Panic Attack Shaking Anxiety Attack Help: Another Example Help with Anxiety Attacks Instead Of Running Away "I Have Anxiety Attacks" CBT and Anxiety How to Battle Anxiety Kim-Basinger-Panic In search of an Anxiety Cause More CBT Techniques for Anxiety How to Manage Anxiety Attacks & Relapses Do I Have Anxiety Issues? Behavioral Techniques Relaxation for Anxiety Hypnosis for Panic Attacks Anxiety Release Natural Anxiety Remedies Anxiety Depersonalization Anxiety and Massage Anxiety Free Progressive Muscle Relaxation equals Anxiety Relaxation Treating Anxiety Attacks & Agoraphobia Panic Disorder and Agoraphobia: my experience Stop panic attacks in their tracks - inspired by Dr. Claire Weekes Anxiety Panic Attack Anxiety Breathing Panic Attack at Work The Theme of "Self Help Social Anxiety" Social-Anxiety-and-Panic-Attacks-Part-2 Social Anxiety Coping Skills Panic Attacks Heart Attack? Anxiety and Obsessive Thoughts Timing and Anxiety Self Help Mindfulness Anxiety Holistic Suggestions Holistic Anxiety Treatment Things Requiring Caution Caffeine Panic Attacks Alcohol and Panic Attacks Lack of Sleep Anxiety How to get Through a Panic Attack Diet and Anxiety & Panic Attacks Low-Carb-Diet-Anxiety? Anti Anxiety Food Anxiety and blood sugar Supplements for Anxiety Minerals for Anxiety Passionflower Anxiety Treatment? Omega 3 for Anxiety Vitamins for Anxiety Theanine for Anxiety Magnesium Anxiety Treatment Holistic Exercises Self Esteem Anxiety People Anxiety Daily Mood Log Anxiety Aromatherapy Music for Anxiety Exercise and panic attacks Natural Remedy for Anxiety Anxiety Recovery Preventing Anxiety Attacks Anxiety, Panic Attack, And Agoraphobia Support Groups And Forums Anxiety Breakthrough An Adjustment For Panic Attacks? Common Medications for Anxiety Anxiety Health: why its a common search enquiry Anxiety Help What Chemical Causes Anxiety? Other Resources Locate a Practitioner e.g. Anxiety Therapist Video and Audio Podcasts Panic Attac Videos Panic Attack Anxiety Podcast Blog About Us Contact Us Newsletter (anxiety disorder help, panic attacks and agoraphobia)

How to Handle Social Anxiety

Question: “I hate the feeling of panic attacks and I also travel overseas a lot with my job and have had attacks whilst half way around the world from home (scary). I am also making excuses to my partner so I don’t have to go out to crowded places in fear of having an attack.”

Note: You can also print this document in Adobe PDF format by clicking here. (It requires Adobe Reader which you can obtain for free here.)

Answer: I would like to begin with something that the Anxiety Disorders Association of British Columbia website states, which is that it is normal for all of us to feel anxious in social situations from time to time. However social anxiety can significantly affect areas of some peoples’ lives such as their work and school, relationships, recreational activities, and day-to-day activities in general.¹

For the purposes of this example, let’s say that the person’s name making the above is Jack. I will always substitute a name and would never breach anyone’s privacy when they send questions/comments but these examples can be useful for everyone not just the person submitting them.

First, I would recommend to all subscribers that they try to identify the cognitive distortions present in Jack’s thinking by reviewing the list of cognitive distortions that can be found by clicking here (don't worry a new link will open).

Once you have done so, come back to this spot and see if we have agreement. Remember this is a great way to practice the process which can be applied to your own thoughts. (If you don’t remember the Cognitive Distortions, you can scan down to the section listing Cognitive Distortions; otherwise the rest of the installment probably won’t be as useful as it could be for you.

So what distortions are present?:

1. Disqualifying the positive is present because while undoubtedly Jack is very scared from his panic attacks when they happen away from the home, the very fact that he can travel around the world is a testament to his braveness and is a very positive thing and shows that he can cope with things.

2. Emotional Reasoning is likely present because Jack is concluding that because he feels bad (i.e. scared or anxious), things are really bad.

3. Jumping to Conclusions is likely present when Jack thinks about social situations and obviously becomes very nervous to the point that he makes up excuses to his partner so he does not have to go into social situations. Jack likely does some “mind reading” perhaps thinking folks may see him as strange or see some other defect and in a sense does some “fortune telling” that this will be the case.

Let’s now look at some alternative thoughts:

1. Jack is travelling around the world and obviously able to hold his own when he needs to. In a previous installment a while back I suggested that when we push ourselves beyond our comfort zone we can often do things we normally would not do. I went further to suggest that this is the place (outside our comfort zone) where the panic attack sufferer needs to get to – thus getting outside of their regular anxious behaviours.

The difference here is clear: Jack needs to travel because of his job so he is able to do it (he’s pushing himself beyond the comfort zone); but he can, for now, avoid social situations by making excuses.

Jack is probably aware that he cannot continue to make excuses to his partner because eventually his partner is not likely going to be very happy because they can never go out together in social situations. It would be best for Jack to be open with his partner about his inhibitions. I would suggest that this is part of Jack’s problem: he doesn’t want anyone to know that he is anxious. But if he could let other people know that he’s anxious or even if he does something perhaps a little silly, he would realize that the world won’t come to an end after he does such a thing. If he makes a mistake or does something goofy people aren’t likely to do very much at all. Folks in social situations are all probably quite busy thinking from their own personal perspective to even notice.

2. As mentioned Jack is disqualifying the positive in his life and seemingly not realizing that he can in fact travel around the world. This is an important point for him to realize because entering social situations can’t be any scarier than being away from home. Moreover, there are strategies/techniques that he can do to alleviate his anxiety in these situations and when he is away from home. Many have been discussed throughout this newsletter.

3. I also mentioned that Jack is emotionally reasoning that because he feels anxious and experiences panic attacks while he is away, he concludes that things really are very bad. While it’s undoubtedly true that a panic attack it can be very stressful, I would suggest that the situation is not near as dire as it may seem to Jack considering he has been surviving thus far.

Additionally, many folks even without anxiety would no doubt feel nervous being away from home or in social situations as noted at the beginning. The only difference is that the anxiety/panic sufferer lets this stop him/her from going into uncomfortable situations when they can avoid them. However, once one gets to a point of gradually going back into situations and learning to relax even when anxiety begins to creep in, they will likely begin making more and more progress.

In closing, you may recall my mentioning in the past that I have used hypnosis to relax from anxiety and panic attacks and that the benefits of inducing relaxation instead of the fight or flight response can not only be effective while you do it, but rather the benefits can carry into one’s daily activities and be something they can summon when required.

Reference (How to Handle Social Anxiety)

What is Social Anxiety Disorder? Retrieved November 23, 2010 from Anxiety Disorders Association of British Columbia (AnxietyBC®) website:

http://www.anxietybc.com/resources/social.php

Easily Share This Webpage with Anyone!

The material in this website and newsletter is provided for educational and informational purposes only, and is not intended to be a substitute for a psychologist’s, psychiatrist’s or other health care provider's consultation. Please consult a psychologist, psychiatrist or appropriate health care provider about the applicability of any opinions or recommendations with respect to your own panic attacks, anxiety or agoraphobia, or any other symptom or condition. The proprietor of this website shall have neither liability nor responsibility to any person or entity with respect to any loss, damage, or injury caused or alleged to be caused directly or indirectly by the information contained in this website ore newsletter.

Home Cognitive Therapy Behavioral Techniques Holistic Suggestions Other Resources Video and Audio Podcasts Contact Us Newsletter (anxiety disorder help, panic attacks and agoraphobia) Disclaimer Terms and Conditions